Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Now I understand...Death, Life, Celebration...

I never really understood that part of my culture where we throw a party at the demise of an aged person. I always thought that no matter how old someone was, death is death and should be something of sobriety not something that deserves fanfare.

I never got it. Until now.

My grandpa just passed away. And for the past couple of days, I have being trying to grapple with the reality of it all; he is really gone? It feels surreal…

Then I understood why celebration after death makes sense.

All of a sudden I feel this strong need to throw a party and proclaim to the whole world, what great man my grand father was. A man of character. A man of valour. A family man. A principled man who has guided not just me but a lot of people that were blessed to be under his tutelage. I have this strong desire to have a musician…not just any but a distinguished one come rain praises to his name. While everybody celebrates and acknowledge truly the greatness of his life.

The second reason why the tradition of throwing a funeral party now makes sense is how I see it bringing closure. I have been in a reflective mood ever since and deep down inside I feel a need for some sense of closure. A sense of having said the final farewell. And now I can just appreciate how the fanfare and merriment of a party can bring such a closure. The final farewell done with the utmost gusty celebration that we can muster.

I can appreciate how it all makes sense now and how therapeutic it can be. Some listen to music, some write, some cry, some spend time with cherished memorabilia...all we all yearn for is a way to deal with loss.

sigh...

Death is part of life I guess. And it adds yet another twist to this unexplainable miracle that our reality is.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Now I understand this, sadly when my mum passed away I was too young, mere 6, and couldn't reach closure for so long.

One way I was able to handle this is to throw remembrance party in her memory in my adult life. So I'm going to say to you congratulations, not only do you have to live by his legacy forever, you also now have a guardian abode.

May his soul rest in perfect peace.

Adeola Raji said...

Thanks Dade for this post. You are blessed.